dream290806

I was feelin abit confused...

• It was late at nite, almost 1am... and I was taking a cab rushin to meet Leon. The cabby overshot and I was kindda pissed esp. when it did not drop me off a carb... I got off when he was trying to do a U-turn.
• The fare cost $10.60, but I gave him $10.50.
• I was walking along a pavement... it felt realli nostalgic. From my point of view... the lane together with the willow trees by the side, where in sepia. It was 1am... but it felt like it was around 7pm... with a gloomy feel.
  
• I got to an area which I saw some strange sculptures. Made of Chains and wheels. Basically metal sculptures. And some children were playing amongst the sculptures.
• Some chains seems to be stretch out upwards with no surport. I was told these sculptures were held on by supernatural forces. I was abit spooked.
• I finally met up with Leon. I was surpose to be in his home in this dream. Thou I know he doesnt live in a Semi-D to begin with.
  
• Its a VERY UNIQUE house. The hall could actually rotate! To certain positions... u will get an excellent view of the scenary outside.
  
• I was lookin at a mirror... when all a sudden... he picked me up and carried me. I kept laughin and asked him to put me down as I was too heavy for him.
• I was surpose to go to work... but I was LATE for work... it was oredi 9am+ and I wanted to call in sick.

I woke up... almost late for work. Thank God I wasnt.

situation300806

... Why is it so difficult to know someone sincerely...
Would you rather have that probably temporary Happiness and cherish that moment... until your final decision to choose when the time comes... or would u rather loose everything all together and go back to a probably unstable situation... and leave a sweet memory for that person when u leave...

Just holding hands for a sec made me feel so bad... yet a tinch of excitment... thou letting go within a few seconds... when challenged again... I refused...
But if we do go out again... I was prewarned that a kiss might follow in de end...

Why does it have to be so...!!! Why cant it be simple...

TORN!!!! TORN!!! TORN!!! Why cant I just know that someone better without these "sweetness"...

Does this phrase... "if you dun try, you wont know" sound familiar to you...
I have no idea where he got it from... or whether have I said this to him ever... but its a phrase commonly used by me...
Talking bout havin your own words against u...

situation270806

I cant believe it's oredi almost the end of August. Time draws closer as he and I will meet again... I do miss him... I realli do. Thou I realli do not know wats on his mind all this while when he is in Brissy. Making me feel as if he doesnt wan this r/s anymore after all that we have been thru.
It hasnt been easy for me, I had to be the secret gf, which I realli hate. Day by day... he adds many friends to his list I would think almost all are girls. Yet I do not know where I stand...

Things were not made simple when Leon came in...
I have no idea why this poor chap seem to like me tat much. The worse part is... all his r/s in the past, he falls for girls who were attached. I asked him if he knew they were in the 1st place. He claims he doesnt. I hope not. I told him in the beginning that I was seeing someone. That I was waiting for him to be home.
He wanted for me to be with him till B comes home in a few mths time. But I cant... This will make me the very person I hate in the 1st place. I do not play both sides.
Time and time again I repeat myself to him... "I will be there for u... as a fren. Be there for me... As a Fren... Be a fren... Know me as a Fren" I just wanted him to know the real me instead of falling for the way I look, to build a stronger foundation base on frenship.

Wat Leon wants is to shower me with love and to hold me and be there for me. He ask me if his wish is that difficult to fullfill.
The problem is... I cant jus allow anyone or even a guy fren to do that. If so... wat are BFs for?

I'm torn for the very 1st time in this new situation. I'm worried that Leon has a cycle of falling for girls who are attached yet it might not be his fault after all. Esp. after wat my mentor has told me. She had a fren who somehow seem to have a family curse. Her fren's mom was the mistress and now... she ends up with a man who is going through a divorce as well. It seems like a cycle.

I'm torn with the fact that I do not where I stand with B. Does he love me in the 1st place?
Now Leon hates himself for falling for a girl who is attached once again. And refuses to see me till he lost his feelings for me. And I've onli met him once.

God has a funny way of presenting problems to people. I think it's a wish or prayer that I made. "Should there be a betrayal... let it be me, as I'm able to control myself but not B" I didnt expect this to happen. However, I still stuck with my words to remain with B coz its the responsible thing to do. I do not just forsake relationships. If thats the case, I could forsake any relationship that comes by when problems arises.
And be the very person I hate in the 1st place and do wrong to my bf.

I guess Leon is there for a reason... be it he is there as a test on my faith... or he is there realli for me.
I made another wish... which is to have a bf/husband who has the Christian faith. Leon izzen, and he was very upset by that as well but Leon doesnt know about this wish I've made.
And B is a Christian...
I do not know where does this lead to. I wish for B to be back. Whether we survive through this... or will I end up single again... I'm clueless.
I cant count on Leon to wait for me as its a selfish thing to do. And he is about to lose faith in being able to find someone to love as this is a vicious cycle.

Time will come and I leave it in God's hands. Please be kind to all of us... I do not wish for anyone to be hurt. Esp. Leon at this moment.

The table seems to turn now...
Leon reminds me very much of Vincent in terms of looks esp.
Vincent is the one I use to have feelings for dearly and it lasted for a few years despite him forsakeing me for 2 unworthy girls who made him lose everything. Yet I was there for him.
At this moment... I seem to be "Vincent" and Leon is "me".
God has a sense of humour which is hard to understand...

dream160806

I would think this year and last year alone... I have dreamt about my Primary school a few times. I'm clueless as to why it happens. As it has moved to another area. I'm not too sure what happens to the old school building thou.

I was back in Primary. Now as a grown woman. I've forgotten why I was there. I only remember the ladies..., but it was different. The school is the same. But it felt different.

dream150806

I had the dream...
Being in the train travelling to nowhere, back and forth... Then met up with someone... he seems to be my bf's friend. No idea why I met up with him... It's as thou he had smth to tell me.

dream080806

Complicated once again. I woke and slept again. So it's 2 seperate dreams.

• I was at the backyard of my artroom grasspatch. Forgotten wat I was trying to do.
• There were deep trap holes of dirt and scary stuffs...
• Snakes.... giant ants and bugs... yellow frogs or toads...
• I was trying to jump across all these stuff to find a good patch, I have no idea wat for....

Next dream...

• I was in a competition... there were 12 people... one by one people were eliminated.
• Knew some of them... some I dont.
• Weird competition, we have a series of task of perform.
• one was in this chic little cottage like resturant. Not sure wat we were trying to achieve.
• I was at the beautiful balcony of the resturant at 2nd level. The moon was huge and beautiful in the sky...
• There was this strange gigantic Doraemon Elastic wind chime in the sky coming down.(VERY STRANGE INDEED, esp when I do not like Doraemon)
• I was told to hold on to one of the chimes, so I jumped off the balcony grabbing on to one of the charms. And I was Springed Upwards into the sky... OOOOooooo!!! It was like bungee jumping...
• Slowly people were eliminated thru a few task.
  
• Then we at the helicopter going somewhere... No idea where...
• We end up in the bookstore and were told we need to find some books and place garlic in them??? (yea I noe... HUH....??) IThere were only about 6 or 7 of us by now.
• Then we were spose to study these books(psychology books) and sorta be tested on them.
• Towards the end... I have no idea wat happened but I was near BrasBahsa walking towards Raffles City to meet someone. Then a guy went ahead of me and I told him..."YER LATE!!!" and I laughed... we were surpose to meet at 12.45pm at Raffles City but we have not steped into the building. The turned around smiling, "hey yer not there yet"
  I have no idea who this guy was and I cant realli remember how he looked.
  

Then I woke up... strange dreams once again as usual...

dream060806

I can barely remember this dream now... All I remember is this...

• Burnt ashes of some items. Seems like toys....
• Me smsing Dad for 45K for studies. And he actually transfered the Cash to me just like tat.

Bare in mind tat in real life... my Dad claims tat he cld not even afford $5oo for my mthly expenses which includes my studyin materials, bills and daily transport and food expenses. Let alone pay for my studies... even when he cld most likely afford it.
$500 is not enough. I will have to look for a part time job as well however it wont be enough.
Thats why I asked for my dad's help.
The reason why I'm pissed... is coz theres more to wat he is doing behind the family's back which I'm totally APPALLED bout... yet claimin he is not able to even help his own daughter out...
Does he even deserve my respect???

situation020806

What do you do when you realise a family member that you trusted is actually LYING to you and trying to gain your trust all these time?????
And that probably not only the family will be hurt but also maybe one or more external party!?

I couldn't believe this... I didnt mean find out wat I have. It was there in front of me and I didnt have to dig for it.
Does God always have a way of revealing the truth. Am I wrong to dig further into it or is God trying to show me what is really going on.
I shall not do anything rash... but the truth has to be out sooner or later. But 1st I have to find out if the other party is an innocent one and wait for things to happen.
I do not wish to hurt anyone but it must be stop before theres more hurt and "blood shed".

Something has to be done... I do not wish to do it but I have to. Whatever is it... my hands will always be clean and conscience will be clear.
All I ask is for God's guidance and Blessing... Help me dear Lord...

dream310706

This was the last nite in Bangkok...

I would onli remember this much...
I kept goin to the Ladies... then I join some people having fun in a mini pool playing around. I was having fun. I didnt know wat was I doing there. It was a shallow pool... almost like a pond.

Shortest post so far...? haha

dream300706

Had this dream on the 2nd nite in Bangkok I think...
it happened jus 10mins into falling asleep. Leaving me gasping to wake up.

My aunt was calling me... it was a dark road with some shops. I do not noe why I was running on the road. It feels like Bangkok. I'm looking for something maybe? I was holding something in my right hand.

I just forced myself to wake up somehow. I felt that my eyes are closed, yet Im able to see the room I was sleeping in, in bed. But I COULD NOT WAKE UP. I kept forcing myself to wake up, so I kept praying... when I finally manage to truely open my eyes wide. I heard a voice but I could not quite make wat was it. It was a male voice. I turned to my right to see my mom sleeping in bed next to mine.
I stayed awake for quite a while and decided to turned the TV back on. It was still "BRAINIAC" on discovery channel. I turned it off when I was falling asleep thou I wanted to finish the last few mins of it.
Thats when I realise I probably only slept for 10 mins or so. Then my dad woke up wondering why the TV was on.